“I’m too White”: A Critical Memoir
¶ 1 Leave a comment on paragraph 1 1 “I want to be an American Literature scholar.” This sentence does not raise an eyebrow when mentioned by a 20-something-year-old, blonde, white woman. “I want to be an African-American Literature scholar.” This sentence immediately raises hairs on people’s heads when stated by that same woman. Biological essentialism is a term that has become second nature in my life, and in my field of study. A coarse definition would be that it means that we are born with certain characteristics due to our race, sex, etc. and because of those characteristics we act, or we are supposed to, in a certain way. I tend to use the term quite often because in race studies, it is one of the aspects of culture that we are attempting to eliminate. Biological essentialism also entertains the idea that we are born different and therefore we cannot understand one another.
¶ 2 Leave a comment on paragraph 2 1 “African-American literature is a part of who I am. No, I’m not African-American, but I can identify with the characters through some of their struggles, and I appreciate the texts as a whole.” This is the response I had given to a friend of mine who could not understand how I could relate to the narratives, or how I will ever relate to my students. Yes, I am a person of privilege and I am aware of that privilege every moment. It is that same privilege that offends individuals who believe that I should not be teaching African-American literature in the classroom. They think it should be offered to an African-American to teach, and that I am taking a job that does not belong to me. What I can offer is my love for the literature, the characters, the culture, the language, and the history surrounding the texts. If the only credential missing is that I am not African-American, so be it. I diligently work to be current in the field. I cannot say that I am an expert, but I hope that someday I will be.
¶ 3
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“Why couldn’t you just teach feminism? You’re really good at it, and you are really interested in the lives of women.”
“Yes, I am interested in the lives of women and that includes all women of color, ages, sizes, sexual preferences, religions, you name it.”
“Exactly! See, it’d be much easier if you could just do that, and you’ll probably be more likely to get a job.”
¶ 4 Leave a comment on paragraph 4 0 A conversation with a colleague reinforced the idea that even people in academia are somewhat skeptical of someone teaching in an area that they are not “born” into. This is when the conversation about race being socially constructed typically arises. Race is socially constructed by the people of power in order to keep the minorities in a position of submission. Race is so ingrained into the American society that we immediately recognize it, analyze it, and realize there is a “difference.” The difference is created not only to create a binary between “us” and “them,” but also to distinguish class in our society. Due to the social construction, African-Americans literary scholars are expected to be an expert in African-American literature, while White literary scholars are expected to stay in their space of Whiteness. We also expect to see a Woman teaching Women’s literature, but what are we missing by assuming that Women are the most effective teachers in this area of literature.
¶ 5 Leave a comment on paragraph 5 0 “I think you should mention something about your race and that relation to your teaching philosophy.”
¶ 6 Leave a comment on paragraph 6 0 No, I will not. I will not insert a disclaimer about why I am teaching this material. I am teaching the material because it is worth reading, analyzing, and it is important. I was asked to address my race on my teaching philosophy because I want to teach a class about African-American literature. This further reiterates the assumption that you are only able to teach what you know. Do you know what that means if we are only able to teach what we know? That means that we are only able to learn what we have always known as well. If this were so, all of us women would be up shit creek regarding much of the literature that has been written in the world. Men could not teach Women’s literature, African-Americans could never understand most of the “classic” canonical literature, and God forbid any homosexual pick up a text written by a heterosexual author. See my point? I grow tired of defending who I am and what I want to teach. Perhaps I can be more clear through the use of a poem written by Sun-Ra, an Angel poet who lived during one of the most turbulent times in African-American history, the 20th Century. Sun-Ra did not identify with race as we often think of it. He claimed that he was a part of the Angel Race, a race that he claimed originated in Saturn. Sun-Ra opted for peace for all people and his work, and my philosophy, highlights those beliefs.
¶ 7
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NOTHING IS
Sun-Ra
At first nothing is;
Then nothing transforms itself to be air
Sometimes the air transforms itself to be water;
And the water becomes rain and falls to earth;
Then again, the air through friction becomes fire.
So the nothing and the air and the water
And the fire are really the same–
Upon different degrees.
¶ 8 Leave a comment on paragraph 8 0 I find this poem very expressive because it approaches the topic of shifting, and the ability to change. As readers, students, and scholars we are constantly shifting and being immersed in different ideas. Today we may be engulfed in Marxist theory, tomorrow Postmodernism. I want to teach my students that we are constantly in a state of flux, and who we are today is never the same person that we were yesterday. I want to express the openness I feel for all types of literature, but I want my passion for African-American literature to outweigh the burden of my skin color. I know that I was born to teach this particular form of literature, so when people talk about how we are unable to relate to others who are unlike us, it is a fallacy. In fact, it is that very notion that has helped to perpetuate racism, segregation in our schools, and the “invisible” class system.
¶ 9 Leave a comment on paragraph 9 1 This critical memoir was inspired by Alison Bechdel’s Are You My Mother? and Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick’s A Dialogue on Love. I was motivated to use these works because both writers address the idea of the uncomfortable academic or writer. I am interested in showing how the inner-politics of higher education can be detrimental and uncomfortable to those who inhabit the space. It is uncomfortable to have certain conversations with others, and yet we continually strive to have an open environment where we can talk about any issue with our students. As academics we are aware that we must publish, be current in the field, and create a solid reputation surrounding our work. As we move into our careers, our achievements make us strive to do better and to do more. As Alison Bechdel says, “The more you succeed, the more empty you feel, therefore the more you must succeed” (107). I have not reached a point yet where I feel that I can relax even for a weekend. I am reading as much as I can, getting involved in the arguments surrounding my field, and looking for loopholes to point out to the theorists about their work. As I argued earlier, we are always in a state of flux, and I think the Bechdel and Sedgwick both are aware of the demands and assumptions we place on ourselves as intellectuals.
I truly liked your memoir Julie for the significant issue it raises, the issue of blacks and whites and its reflection on literature. Can a white man teach African American literature?
The significance of the issue rises basically from bringing to the forth a minority issue. On the other hand, I liked the connection with feminism. In fact, I would consider blacks and women as part of what Gayatri Spivak called “The Subaltern” in her famous essay ” Can the Subaltern Speak?” Both groups are subordinated. Blacks are subordinated to the White and women are subordinated to men. Both are under the hegemony of the Master (man/white) who views them in the way he likes. This problem is doubled with black women. This is part of what some feminist call (the double bind paradigm).
Renowned black feminist, Alice Walker addresses the issue of black women. She criticizes mainstream feminism of neglecting black experience and focusing on middle class white women. In response, Walker calls for resorting to “Womanism;” a model that takes into consideration all women from all races, classes and backgrounds.