Archives and Feelings

Learning the Forbidden Language: An Autobiographical Odyssey

Kamal Salem

November 30, 2013

¶ 1 Leave a comment on paragraph 1 0 Kamal Salem

¶ 2 Leave a comment on paragraph 2 0 Dr. Alexis Lothian

¶ 3 Leave a comment on paragraph 3 0 ENGL 985

¶ 4 Leave a comment on paragraph 4 0 Assignment # 5 First Draft

¶ 5 Leave a comment on paragraph 5 0 03^rd Dec^, 2013

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Learning the Forbidden Language: An Autobiographical Odyssey

¶ 8 Leave a comment on paragraph 8 0 Introduction

¶ 9 Leave a comment on paragraph 9 0 “I am a part of all that I have met,” said Alfred Tennyson in his Ulysses. Tennyson captured the gist of the human experience in terms of its contribution to the identity of the individual. What “I have met” in terms of my experience in the writing field as a learner as well as a teacher has played a great role in shaping my character as both a regular person and a teacher. Jacques Derrida, the renowned French philosopher, argued that writing precedes speech. This is a vivid and true expression of the paramount position of writing in the human experience, which I clearly see in my personal life. In this autobiographical piece, in intend to highlight the role writing played in my life.

¶ 10 Leave a comment on paragraph 10 0 My odyssey in the writing field started as a learner. I started learning English as a second language when I was a high school student in my home country, Libya. However, for some purely political reasons, the government has strangely abandoned teaching English in schools for seven years until 1993. Hence I started learning English in tenth grade, which is very late indeed. Scholars do believe that the earlier the learning experience, the more the positive feedback is. All in all, my mastery of writing in English started very late and with great difficulties. I had trouble memorising words and understand grammar.

¶ 11 Leave a comment on paragraph 11 0 The considerable improvement in my English in general and writing in particular started when I travelled to the United Kingdom in 2004, in order to start my MA in translation and interpreting. I enjoyed the experience very much. The learning atmosphere was much better than in Libya, not mentioning the fact that the UK is a country using English as its mother tongue. So for me, I was learning both in the class environment as well as in the street. Still, the poor background that I had from my country was very clear, so difficulties were there, and I felt my performance was low in comparison to native speakers as well as those speaking English as a second language. Nevertheless, over time, I gained a lot and my English improved considerably.

¶ 12 Leave a comment on paragraph 12 0 My admiration of the English language made me fond of writing more and more. So I decided to do my Ph.D. in English Literature and Criticism. However, I started first by joining the American Language Institute (ALI) at Indiana University of Pennsylvania in order to be more qualified to explore the English language. I believe I gained a lot from ALI in terms of mastering academic writing, listening, and reading. I spent nine months studying at American Language Institute, where I was also exposed to new cultures through my classmates, who came from different countries in the world, such as China, Japan, Taiwan, and Saudi Arabia. I found it easy to communicate in English with different students from all over the world in my ALI classes. Furthermore, I have engaged in the social extracurricular programs provided by the ALI activity coordinator, I remember a major character named Sarah Tourtolette, whom I will never ever forget. Sarah helped me a lot in different aspects of the learning experience.

¶ 13 Leave a comment on paragraph 13 0 Sarah was the first instructor I met in ALI. She was kind enough. She welcomed me and gave me much helpful advice. She even gave me information about the USA in general and living in Indiana in particular. I wanted her to be my teacher; which happened. She taught me Community Information.

¶ 14 Leave a comment on paragraph 14 0 This is a very short summary of my invaluable experience in English. The remainder of this piece will elaborate more on this experience with more details from the beginning up to the current time.

¶ 15 Leave a comment on paragraph 15 0 My Journey with Writing

¶ 16 Leave a comment on paragraph 16 0 Learning Writing

¶ 17 Leave a comment on paragraph 17 0 I consider my story with writing as unique and considerably fruitful in both my academic life and regular life. Writing for me is the prestigious and more convincing way of communication. Its mastery is a sign of intelligence and education. So I was keen on learning it and ultimately teaching it in a perfect way.

¶ 18 Leave a comment on paragraph 18 0 My journey in this field can be best seen in the context of my overall my experience with English in general. For some political reasons, I was not exposed to English learning in my early childhood just like any other child. The ex-Libyan president had banned teaching English in schools until 1993, when I was in tenth grade. Imagine being a 16 year old person and still learning vocabulary items like (door, window  …etc.). The curriculum in the three years focused on vocabulary, grammar and comprehension of short pieces, with no focus on writing at all. I faced difficulties in all skills of English. Additionally, the Ministry of Education did not have the adequate human resources qualified for teaching English. Some schools did not have any English teacher. Still, students used to set for the final exams!!!

¶ 19 Leave a comment on paragraph 19 0 Evidently, this all has resulted in a very considerable deficiency in my English, which appeared in my undergraduate studies. After finishing my high school with good average, I joined the University of AL-Mergeb which located in Khoms city, Libya in 1996 as English major. Here I noticed the results of bad schooling in my childhood. Sometimes I felt that the curriculum was so week to correspond with the low level of English education we received in school, and sometimes I felt that the curriculum is too complex compared to the negative education we received.

¶ 20 Leave a comment on paragraph 20 0 In this context, I have to mention some points regarding the teaching-learning environment in Libya in particular and the Arab world in general. First and foremost, the Arab universities do not stick to the standards in terms of the number of students in the class. The minimum number of students in AL-Mergeb University that I studies in was 40. In some classes the number raised to 120 students, meeting in an auditorium, with some students standing if no student was absent. Imagine the situation in the exam with everybody there. My writing courses included from 45 to 52 students! This huge number of students negatively influenced the teaching and learning of writing. Professors could not correct assignments for all students at a time, and sometimes students did not get feedback at all.

¶ 21 Leave a comment on paragraph 21 0 Another equally important point is the low level of some professors due to the low level of schools they graduated from. The concept of academic freedom was not present at all; the “banking system” was pervasive with no sense of democratic atmosphere that would allow students to make their voice heard. Added to this is the absence of academic integrity where students used to plagiarise papers, presentations and even writing assignments.

¶ 22 Leave a comment on paragraph 22 0 Back to my personal experience, within the context mentioned above I came across writing. I took two courses in writing in university. One when I was a sophomore (Writing1), and one when I was a junior (Writing 2). I had hard times in both courses, especially the former. In Writing, the focus was on two points: First there was stress on making students master using the three types of sentences; the simple, the compound and the complex. I remember I was only good in writing a simple sentence; in the compound sentence I had problems with the comma!! As for the complex sentence I remember I could not master it until I became a senior student!! The second focus in Writing 1 was acquiring the skills of writing a paragraph. As I only mastered the simple sentence, all my paragraphs were simple-sentence paragraphs. I took (B) in the course. Any way, it was fair for me.

¶ 23 Leave a comment on paragraph 23 0 In (Writing 2), the focus shifted to mastering writing an essay. This was so hectic for me. It was totally new for me to maintain organic and topic unity throughout a five-paragraph essay, connecting them together semantically and linguistically. Still I remember I achieved a satisfactory breakthrough during the course, thanks to the professor Taher Qibya, who was understanding and encouraging. I got (C+) in the course, which was disappointing for me. Ultimately, I graduated in 2001 with a GBA of (3.55).

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¶ 26 Leave a comment on paragraph 26 0 Teaching Writing

¶ 27 Leave a comment on paragraph 27 0 In the Private Sector

¶ 28 Leave a comment on paragraph 28 0 I took a teaching course in The Higher Institute for Training Teachers. Then I became a teacher in the same institute. I immediately got a job as an English teacher in one of the schools in the Libyan Village of Khoms. It was just one week after I sat for my last exam in the university. So it was really a new and sensitive experience for me. Given the title “sir” shortly after I was a student was really exciting and challenging for me. All in all, this was a beginning for a new step for me in as far as English in general and writing in particular is concerned. I moved from the state of student to the state of teacher; in the language of Marx, from a consumer to a producer.

¶ 29 Leave a comment on paragraph 29 0 It is important to mention that the teaching environment in schools was not so different from that of universities, with some relatively better atmosphere to private school. Classes were dense with students, infrastructure not well-built, students and teachers’ level is relatively low, and no real academic environment was available. In the midst of this I started my teaching career in a private school. As mentioned above, the situation in the private schools was a little bit better than that in the public ones. The management is keen on gaining students’ (customers!) satisfaction in order to maintain more income. So the target satisfaction was that of the student and his parent, sometimes on the expense of the teacher. The number of the students in class was relatively reasonable, teaching tools were somehow available and good teaching strategies were in effect.

¶ 30 Leave a comment on paragraph 30 0 I was assigned as an English teacher for the fifth, sixth and seventh grades, with a total of 24 hours a week, a considerably hectic workload. The teaching goals included focusing on the four issues of comprehension, vocabulary, grammar and writing. I had some knowledge of Freire’s problem posing methodology, so it was my basic teaching technique. However, both students and their parents did not appreciate this methodology as they were accustomed to the banking “hegemonic” system of teaching. Students felt more comfortable in being lectured on, dictated and given the one and only truth; so my “democratic” inclinations did not appeal to them. As far as writing is concerned, I used to make students choose topics of their liking rather than impose topics on them, as they are used to. In cases where I had to choose topics, I was keen on choosing topics that are in line with “the social realities” of the students. In-class assignments and workshops were designed and homework was given reasonably. All students’ work was corrected with feedback provided. Ironically, what I was teaching to these elementary students was what I learnt in my undergrad studies!!

¶ 31 Leave a comment on paragraph 31 0 The school organised optional extra writing classes on Saturdays (regular holiday) for students of all grades. A good number of students signed up and I volunteered to teach two classes. It was good experience and had good feedback.

¶ 32 Leave a comment on paragraph 32 0 I need to say that, overall, I was happy with the two years I spent in this school. I was pretty satisfied with the students’ progress, and I got good evaluation on my performance. However, as I mentioned earlier, there were certain complaints from both students and parents regarding my methodology. I got many notices from the administration, but I was determined not to change the “emancipatory” method to the “colonial” one. As a result of this conflict between me and the administration, I had to quit. I resigned after two years teaching with no particular plan for future work.

¶ 33 Leave a comment on paragraph 33 0 I went for a vacation for one month for refreshing purposes. In the meantime, I was rethinking my experience as a teacher in general and as a writing teacher in particular. I was happy with the feedback I created in students. For the first time I experienced the feeling of the father towards his sons and I was determined to go on!

¶ 34 Leave a comment on paragraph 34 0 I applied for one of the prestigious educational centres in Libya. The centre is specialised in teaching English for different levels of students determined by a placement test that the student sets for in the beginning. There were general courses that focused on the four skills together, and there were specialised skills for speaking and writing. I got the job and I asked to be assigned the writing courses. I got that!

¶ 35 Leave a comment on paragraph 35 0 I should admit the experience in this centre was far more challenging than that in the private school. Much more concern was given to the students, with constant supervision in class and out of class. The curriculum was more challenging and creative, requiring much effort from the instructor in terms of preparation, class performance, follow up and meeting deadlines. Feedback from students about the instructor was taken so seriously by the administration. As before, the Freirean teaching methodology was adopted with focus on creating a healthy teaching-learning atmosphere where student’s involvement in the process was highly attained. I was respectful of the curriculum set by the centre administration, however, for purposed of involving the students, I made the syllabus loose, giving opportunity for students to add items of their interests. I also made them choose topics of their interest, among many other techniques I followed. Again, these “liberating” methods did not appeal to the majority of the students as well as the administration who had a weird liking for “autocratic.” Ultimately, I quit after I got a teaching position in one of the public schools in Tripoli city (the capital of Libya), a position not favoured by the majority of the people for many reasons!!

¶ 36 Leave a comment on paragraph 36 0 In the Public Sector

¶ 37 Leave a comment on paragraph 37 0 I was assigned as an English teacher in one of the major public schools in the capital city. As noted earlier, the teaching-learning atmosphere in the public schools is much deteriorated than that in the private ones. A Marxist analysis is the best explanation for this difference. The basic reason is related to market issues. In the private sector, administrators of schools are concerned about attracting as many students (customers) as possible, so they are keen on producing the best deliverables by maintaining the best possible learning atmosphere. Conversely, in the public sector, the customers (students) do not pay! So there is no real interest in their performance and the environment they learn in as well. On the teachers’ level, the good thing is that there is no marginalisation of the teacher for the benefit of the student as the case in the private schools, and there was job security. However, there was no financial satisfaction at all. The public school teacher used to get a monthly salary of no more than $ 200! This would necessarily result in a considerable decrease in their performance and noticeable carelessness among many of them. I remember many cases where teachers asked for increment and went on strike for several days for that purpose, with no real cooperation from the government. In this environment I started my teaching career in the public sector.

¶ 38 Leave a comment on paragraph 38 0 I was assigned to teach the tenth and eleventh-grade students with a weekly workload of 27 hours; much more than that in the private school. The level of these students was not far different from that of the private school students, except in terms of their seriousness and dedication. Students did not pay, so they were relatively careless except few.

¶ 39 Leave a comment on paragraph 39 0 To be honest, my performance and enthusiasm decreased a lot here. One of the reasons is the aforementioned financial issue that made me realise I am not getting the due for my effort. The second reason is the lack of infrastructure necessary for superior teaching performance. The third equally important reason is the relative carelessness of the students. There was some feeling of satisfaction in me regarding some students’ feedback, however, the major concern for the students was the grade not the knowledge.

¶ 40 Leave a comment on paragraph 40 0 As for writing, there was no particular section in the syllabus focusing on writing as such; however, I tried to embed it within the curriculum. Still the results were pretty discouraging. This is mainly because students were not interested in writing as much as grammar, which, for them, was the essence of English!! Second, there was poor background in writing skills in the students, which resulted from poor teaching in their elementary grades. In general, I was not happy with my experience in the public school especially in the latter years as I was only spending my last days in school since I was determined to get a scholarship to embark on my MA Degree.

¶ 41 Leave a comment on paragraph 41 0 Before moving to the next stage of my experience in the writing field, I need to say few words regarding the influence it had on me until that point. More and more, my admiration and interest in writing increased. On the other hand, writing helped me build my identity and high self-esteem, not only because I could express myself better, but also the fact that I taught others how to do so made me feel proud. Additionally, writing made me realise that in the process of teaching one comes to learn as well. I admit that the process of correcting students’ papers, following up on their work and the personal research I made for this purpose enriched my knowledge in the field. Equally important, teaching writing made me discover the potential, stamina, enthusiasm and readiness for hard work in me. Big thanks to writing!!

¶ 42 Leave a comment on paragraph 42 0 Back as a Student            

¶ 43 Leave a comment on paragraph 43 0 Starting in the UK

¶ 44 Leave a comment on paragraph 44 0 My deplorable experience in the public school had its positive side. It made me determined to look for upgrading my educational level in order to extricate myself out of this miserable situation, hence came my intention to pursue my higher education. I applied for different universities in Britain. I had many ideas in mind regarding the specific major. At last I decided to do translation. I got many admission letters from different universities, and I decided upon The University of Salford in Manchester. I got a scholarship from the Libyan government, Scholarships Department. In 2004, I resigned and headed to England, starting a new stage in my experience with writing in particular and English in general.

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